theAspenbeat.com,
by
Glenn Beaton
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Big Bopper
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12/16/2023 1:55:41 PM
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A guy named Joachim Neander lived in a German valley about 400 years ago. He was a bigwig in the valley, and it came to be called “Neander’s Valley” or, in German, “Neanderhohle.” The name evolved with the language, and it morphed into “Neandertal” or “Neanderthal.” (Pseudo-linguists still debate which is right.)
In a weird coincidence, the Neanderthal Valley is where they first discovered fossilized remains of an ancient human called “Neanderthal.” (What are the odds of that?)
The fossils suggested that this particular Neanderthal was no ordinary human. He/she/they/it was very sturdy. The people who found him decided he was brute, in a bad way. He became the prototypical caveman.
theAspenbeat.com,
by
Glenn Beaton
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Big Bopper
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12/12/2023 2:22:15 PM
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An entertainer named Dylan Mulvaney decided a couple of years ago that he would be more entertaining if he “identified” as a woman.
Not to the point that he had his penis removed, mind you. But just enough to prance around in women’s clothing and adopt a farcical falsetto voice and hang out in women’s restrooms.
So, what he really “identifies” as, is a man with a penis – not to mention billions of Y chromosomes – who likes to prance around in women’s clothing with a farcical falsetto voice and hang out in women’s restrooms.
This rehashed drag show made Mully many millions.
theAspenbeat.com,
by
Glenn Beaton
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Posted by
Big Bopper
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12/6/2023 9:06:29 PM
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Everyone has read the reports by now. On Oct. 7, Palestinian terrorists in Gaza called Hamas launched a surprise invasion of Israel. They shot, tortured, raped, beheaded and abducted every Jew they could find. Most were women, children and babies.
Over 1,200 Jews died, and countless more were injured. It was a Jewish pogrom, right out of the Middle Ages. The perpetrators filmed their gruesome bloodbath and gleefully posted it on the internet.
Hamas also took about 200 hostages back to the underground tunnels of Gaza, where they’ve been using them as human shields, trading them for Hamas terrorists captured by Israel, and torturing them to death.
theAspenbeat.com,
by
Glenn Beaton
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Posted by
Big Bopper
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12/3/2023 2:31:26 PM
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I don’t mean women are just as good as men at lawyering. I mean they’re better. Let me explain.
But first a story. I have a distant connection to recently deceased former Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O’Connor.
O’Connor grew up on an Arizona cattle ranch. Her home was nine miles from the nearest paved road and didn’t have running water or electricity until she was seven.
She was very smart. At age 16, she left the ranch and went to Stanford to earn a degree in Economics. In 1952, she graduated third in her class from Stanford Law School. (That was back when Stanford was still teaching law
theAspenbeat.com,
by
Glenn Beaton
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Posted by
Big Bopper
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12/1/2023 12:51:29 PM
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Americans are reproducing at a rate that is too low to replace themselves. At this rate, Americans will go extinct.
It’s like the situation in Italy where Catholics have become so adept at violating the Church’s prohibitions on birth control that they’ll be gone soon.
I figure the only way to save Italy for the Italians is for the Church to permit – nay, mandate – birth control. If there’s one thing Catholics have learned over 2,000 years, it’s that their highest spiritual calling is to disobey their infallible-ish Pope. Only if the shepherd requires birth control will his flock
theAspenbeat.com,
by
Glenn Beaton
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Big Bopper
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11/28/2023 9:52:34 PM
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Ruth Bader Ginsburg was a Supreme Court Justice and a darling of the left. She was endearingly referred to as “Notorious RBG” for her strident opinions invariably siding with the Democrats on political issues.
But she grew old. She also grew feeble physically and, sadly, to some extent mentally as well. She started breaking Court tradition by giving television interviews, where she unfortunately spoke intemperately about political issues.
Shortly before the 2016 election, she told a reporter that Donald Trump was “a faker.”
And then she said something to the reporter that apparently came into her head at that moment because she really had an ego.
theAspenbeat.com,
by
Glenn Beaton
Original Article
Posted by
Big Bopper
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11/26/2023 10:04:42 AM
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Back in my day, cheerleaders were hot and gorgeous, at least at the University of Colorado/Boulder where I watched them. They were the best-looking girls on campus, and that was saying a lot at the time in Boulder.
After I graduated and left Boulder, they were evidently unable to attract the same quality without me. In fact, they resorted to male cheerleaders.
There were sniggers that the male cheerleaders were probably a bit light-footed, if you know what I mean. That was before light-footedness, if you know what I mean, became the Next Big Thing.
But male cheerleaders mostly faded away over the years. We see few male cheerleaders now.
theAspenbeat.com,
by
Glenn Beaton
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Posted by
Big Bopper
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11/22/2023 2:13:42 PM
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Joe Biden has always been considered not very bright and not very honest. Beyond that, he’s thin-skinned and hot-tempered according to White House staff. His ability to remember and his ability to think – never very good – are worsening. He’s spent 40% of his time in the White House not in the White House, but on vacation at the beach in Delaware.
He has a creepy thing for other people’s young daughters which an irate dad might someday react to in a way Joe doesn’t anticipate.
As for his casual relationship with facts, he certainly lies on occasion, as when it comes to his family influence-peddling
theAspenbeat.com,
by
Glenn Beaton
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Posted by
Big Bopper
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11/19/2023 11:18:12 AM
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Exclusive to The Aspen Beat:
Deion and Taylor got married. It was a low-key affair, by their standards. A few million of their closest friends.
Taylor’s bridesmaid was the indefatigable, impermeable, invaluable, impressive, Nikola Jokic, the best thing to come out of Serbia since that other Nikola whose name was unfortunately appropriated a century later for a vehicle that is self-driving and self-incinerating.
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After the wedding, the newlyweds rode off into the sunset in, you guessed it, a Tesla. They got as far as Ventura County before the juice gave out and the car caught fire.
OK, I made all that up. But I had you going, didn’t I?
theAspenbeat.com,
by
Glenn Beaton
Original Article
Posted by
Big Bopper
—
11/14/2023 1:23:26 PM
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The news today is that a prominent and thoughtful Somalian-Dutch-American who left her Muslim faith in favor of atheism some years ago, has now left her atheist faith in favor of Christianity.
Welcome to my church, Ayaan Hirsi Ali. You can sit anywhere you’d like.
Ayaan published an essay explaining the reasons for her conversion. Her essay describes no epiphany, no encounter on a road to Damascus or anywhere else. Strikingly, neither “Christ” nor “Jesus” appear anywhere in her essay.
Instead, she explained that Christianity (and by implication the larger Judeo-Christian culture) is the only framework capable of building civilization as we know it, and protecting it against human depravity.
theAspenbeat.com,
by
Glenn Beaton
Original Article
Posted by
Big Bopper
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11/1/2023 10:14:20 AM
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The news these post-pogrom days is filled with stories of Jews objecting to actions committed in the name of leftism.
The left’s darling of the Mideast – Hamas – ransacked towns in the Jewish homeland established by the United Nations 75 years ago, in a display of rape and pillaging unmatched since the Dark Ages.
Maniacal, drug-infused, Jew-hating, Hitlerian crazies raped, beheaded, murdered and burned alive Jewish civilians, took others hostage for display, torture and execution, and filmed their carnage to proudly post on the internet. At least Genghis Khan didn’t post on the internet.
theAspenbeat.com,
by
Glenn Beaton
Original Article
Posted by
Big Bopper
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10/28/2023 1:25:29 PM
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It’s all fun and games till they start beheading babies
I liked Halloween as a boy because, even then, I was a cheapskate. I loved getting candy, and I loved even more getting it for free.
When I was about 11, my three siblings came down with the flu. Oddly, I didn’t. I went out trick-or-treating alone till about 10:30, way past my bedtime, while my sister and brothers languished at home praying to the porcelain god.
I took in quite a haul. Two full bags. Probably today’s equivalent of a couple hundred dollars’ worth of candy.
I was afraid that night.