'I'm a Mother of Three, But I Never Wanted Children'
Newsweek,
by
Erin S. Lane
Original Article
Posted By: Beardo,
7/27/2022 2:36:48 PM
I was 12 years old when I realized that motherhood was my destiny—or, at least, that it was supposed to be.
It was the mid-1990s, the heyday of the so-called purity movement, when the True Love Waits campaign arrived at our small, Catholic parish in the suburbs of Chicago. A pious child who wanted to please God, I dutifully signed a pledge to my "future mate"—and strangely my "future children" too—that I would wait to have sex until I was married.
This prescribed only two good scripts for my life: Mother or Mother Superior.
Children are God's gift, and they are all you leave behind.
23 people like this.
Reply 2 - Posted by:
spacer 7/27/2022 3:11:17 PM (No. 1230275)
Sad little yarn. There are folks of every stripe who choose not to rear children. From this old mans perspective it is a loss. Their live could be filled with awe and wonder. That said, it is clear in this day and age too many children are being raised in a feral world not of their making but that of people at the controls of our devolving culture. Too bad, my bride of 55 years and I would not change a thing and in fact wished we had more of the little tyrants.
31 people like this.
Reply 3 - Posted by:
Talk2 7/27/2022 3:36:40 PM (No. 1230288)
We wanted children and we had two with a third miscarried. We love our children and their children and wish to see our great-grandchildren but we're not sure that will ever happen because our grandchildren have so many other things they "need" to do before they will think about having children of their own. I don't think their attitude is vastly different from far too many young adults. Will they realize after it's too late that they want children? Who knows? Should we feel sorry for them that they will never know the great joy of unconditional love for their own children or the terror they feel at the possibility of something happening to the children? If it's their choice to remain childless because children may take too much of their valuable time one can only feel pity for the emptiness in their souls.
17 people like this.
Reply 4 - Posted by:
Sully 7/27/2022 3:43:21 PM (No. 1230291)
So, is this like some new age boast or something? Boasting of how much we hate our children no one asked us to have in the first place? The Piece of Work in the article actually adopted her children. She had to go out of her way to debase her motherly instincts.
These people are sick in the head. They are sick with pride and unquenchable appetite to consume. It doesn't satisfy them any more to consume goods, so they must consume the very love before them.
Just another wisp of smoke from a decayed and Godless culture.
22 people like this.
Reply 5 - Posted by:
danu 7/27/2022 4:02:37 PM (No. 1230301)
Do you know how many people lost children, or cannot have children, because of vaccine-caused infertility?
7 people like this.
Reply 6 - Posted by:
jeffkinnh 7/27/2022 4:08:03 PM (No. 1230303)
It's tough to be a parent and I have no problem with those who choose not to follow that path. However, going child free is not the norm. So when friend bombard you with encouragement to be parents, they are simply following the typical path, not trying to be difficult or change your mind. People attending a fair go on rides and eat bad food. If you go to a fair, people expect you will as well. It's just the way things are. In the fair of life, parenthood is the way things usually are. I'm too busy living my own life to care or worry about how others decide to live theirs.
5 people like this.
Very shallow. Boring read. So what Ms. Lane.
16 people like this.
Reply 8 - Posted by:
konocti95 7/27/2022 4:17:18 PM (No. 1230315)
A person consumed by the worries and cares of this world misses the joy and peace of God. My children and grandchildren have taught me more about God's character, unconditional love, grace and mercy than all the sermons ever preached. He promises they are a blessing and they are. I'm thankful to Him for fulfilling that promise in the past and look forward to what He has for me in the days to come.
11 people like this.
Reply 9 - Posted by:
padiva 7/27/2022 4:34:29 PM (No. 1230327)
They chose to adopt the children. Are they raising the girls to be responsible adults?
(Circling thru the internet is a video of a black young man (12-14yo?) who burst into tears and hugged his white parents when he had his first birthday cake. He didn't know about making a wish and blowing out the candle.)
7 people like this.
Pathetic story written by a even more pathetic person who seems to think everyone cares about your private choices in life. Honey, they don't. Your self centered view of the world is sad and it is even sadder that your husband is a youth pastor. Envy self centeredness seems to be the two main characteristics of this generation. Having children is a private choice and people make that choice for a variety of reasons. We are not interested in yours mainly because most of all you are a total bore.
9 people like this.
Reply 11 - Posted by:
DaddyO 7/27/2022 5:24:57 PM (No. 1230348)
"The goodwill felt nice at first. But when the shock wore off, the sadness set in.."
Mother of the year candidate. "Mom, is this really how you feel about us?"
5 people like this.
Reply 12 - Posted by:
downnout 7/27/2022 5:36:24 PM (No. 1230366)
I wonder how her “children” feel knowing Mom really didn’t want them. What a self-absorbed female dog.
11 people like this.
Reply 13 - Posted by:
joew9 7/27/2022 6:47:11 PM (No. 1230411)
My theory is most people throughout history want to avoid having children because "that's for older people" and they aren't old yet. They often think of only on having them later in life when they are "ready". But their desire for sex overwhelms their plans. And then suddenly there is a child. Frustrated at first but soon afterwards they accept their fate and then ultimately would have it no other way. It's the way nature has always worked - until we short circuited it with our birth control technology.
The reality - even if you think it's harsh - is if the birth rate average is not at least 2.2 children per woman then birth control needs to be restricted. As low as the birth rate is it is warranted that birth control of all types be severely restricted in the US.
0 people like this.
Reply 14 - Posted by:
czechlist 7/27/2022 7:14:17 PM (No. 1230451)
When my wife and I began talking marriage she said she did not want children. I said fine I want a family and regrettably will find someone else. She relented and we have two beautiful girls now in their thirties. They have been most important in my wife's life and she cannot imagine life without them and the grandones.
5 people like this.
Reply 15 - Posted by:
Snortleblatt 7/27/2022 8:20:33 PM (No. 1230505)
Narcissism, they name is Erin.
5 people like this.
Reply 16 - Posted by:
PostAway 7/27/2022 10:35:07 PM (No. 1230591)
Okaaaaaay. Reading that drivel was three minutes out of my life that I’ll never get back. Don’t make the same mistake. I’ll sum it up to save you the torture: It was an absolutely insipid reflection on …. Well, I’m not sure except to say it’s about what a great person Erin Hall thinks she is no matter what she does but all the well-intentioned breeders in her midst are too simple-minded to understand her because she’s a writer which makes her more interesting, more profound and way smarter than they’ll ever be. Or something. I think. But of one thing I’m sure: she had to meet a deadline and get paid her $250 so she wrote down whatever came into her mostly empty head.
2 people like this.
Reply 17 - Posted by:
OK state mom 7/27/2022 10:38:40 PM (No. 1230593)
My maternal grandmother told her daughter, my mother, she would not have any of the 5 she had if she'd known how to stop it.
0 people like this.
Reply 18 - Posted by:
LoneVoice 7/27/2022 11:34:51 PM (No. 1230626)
You’d think a mother would love her children. But we live in a world where many parents hate their children. Maybe it had something to do so many women murdering their babies in the womb.
Maybe it had something to do our media celebrating extreme selfishness for 50 years.
Maybe confusing love with lust destroyed actual love.
4 people like this.
Reply 19 - Posted by:
franq 7/28/2022 6:01:21 AM (No. 1230720)
Newsweak? C'mon man.
How would Mrs. Lane feel if HER mother had uttered these words? Or maybe she did, and the scars remain.
0 people like this.
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