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Saying Goodbye to My Mum

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Posted By: ladydawgfan, 4/2/2022 7:58:56 PM

“You cannot begin to understand it until it happens to you.” Those are the wise words spoken to me by a friend upon learning that I had traveled to the West Coast last week to say goodbye to my mother. She passed away a few days after I left. And boy, were my friend’s words true. I’m dealing with emotions that I do not understand, cannot comprehend. I can’t sleep or eat. It is the worst thing I have experienced. I am broken. Shattered, actually. My Uber driver this morning, when I told him of my grief, said, “It is very challenging to live a good life.” Indeed. Life was rough for my mum.

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“Even in our sleep, pain which cannot forget falls drop by drop upon the heart until, in our own despair, against our will, comes wisdom through the awful grace of God.”
-- Aeschylus

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Reply 1 - Posted by: curious1 4/2/2022 8:22:48 PM (No. 1117805)
My condolences, Mr. Josi. It's very tough when it happens, even when it's expected..
28 people like this.

Reply 2 - Posted by: KayJayMac 4/2/2022 8:32:17 PM (No. 1117814)
Our moms love us more than anybody else in the world. Indeed, it’s devastating to lose them. It’s been 18 years since I lost mine. The pain turns into sweet memories eventually. I don’t envy my friends who still have their moms, because they will know that pain someday. Grief is the price of love. God bless you, Christian Josi.
38 people like this.

Reply 3 - Posted by: Lizzyboo 4/2/2022 9:37:23 PM (No. 1117860)
Our parents teach us what we need to know, except how to live without them. That we must navigate through the pain and sorrow on our own . May their memories be eternal.
26 people like this.

Reply 4 - Posted by: red1066 4/2/2022 10:23:56 PM (No. 1117887)
The pain of losing one's parents never goes away. One learns to live with it and carry on, but one is reminded almost on a daily basis of what your parents meant to you for the rest of your life. It's why the thought of reuniting with them upon one's death is so comforting.
23 people like this.

Reply 5 - Posted by: Timber Queen 4/2/2022 10:29:40 PM (No. 1117891)
My mother was called home on Christmas Eve Eve (Dec 23) in '93. Dad followed eighteen months later in the summer of '95. Prior to those losses; TK's grandmother (who raised him with his divorced mother) passed in '91, and his mother just a year later in '92. In the space of four years we lost all our parental figures. It was a very tough time, but TK and I became so close as we shared our grief and longings. I have been blessed with many visit dreams from my mother and father, although they are not as frequent as in the beginning of our separation. The last one from Dad was ten years ago or more. I was responsible for a big event and very worried about how all the details would come together. I took a nap and Dad came to me; he was 40ish with the deepest tan I'd ever seen and wearing his white swim shorts. (He always wore white swim shorts to show off his tan. George Hamilton level tan.) We sat on a park bench, with his arm around my shoulders. He told me he was proud of me and everything would be great that night...it was. I have two photographs of my parents pinned on my bulletin board, just a quick gaze to the left from my screen. I took them myself when I was a preteen. One is at the top of the Palm Springs tram, and the other on a bench at Disneyland across from Tom Sawyers Island. He had his arm around my mother's shoulders. The ship Columbia is sailing behind them, which I waited for the ship to come around. It was the same park bench in my dream. The sudden loss of our parents physical presence is so often tempered by these visit dreams. I have heard so many others from family and friends that I believe it is universal. Life Is Eternal! The best is yet to come!
28 people like this.

Reply 6 - Posted by: LadyHen 4/2/2022 10:47:47 PM (No. 1117903)
When I lost my Daddy, I lost my touchstone, the man who taught me what men should be. When I lose my Momma, I don't have words. I treasure her beyond jewels, every minute God leaves her with me is precious for she will compliment His angels and I knew He wants her with Him. I pray He is patient for I and my children love her so.
20 people like this.

Reply 7 - Posted by: ussjimmycarter 4/3/2022 12:10:28 AM (No. 1117936)
Just lost a dear relative! It’s the finality! But, as Christians we are certain of the resurrection and eternity with God! “Oh death, where is your sting” said the Apostle Paul!
13 people like this.

Reply 8 - Posted by: 3XALADY 4/3/2022 7:41:33 AM (No. 1118039)
I lost my mother 20 years ago and I remember the heartbreak at the first Mother's Day without her when I had no one to buy a special Mother's Day card for. I would always just look and look to find the one that had the perfect message inside. I was blessed to have her for 57 years.
11 people like this.

Reply 9 - Posted by: Toby Ten Bears 4/3/2022 10:20:54 AM (No. 1118166)
Get over it already... Everyone has their turn. Did you think she'd liver forever? Geesh!
1 person likes this.

Reply 10 - Posted by: Geoman 4/3/2022 3:34:36 PM (No. 1118393)
The worst part is that I was quick to share good news with my mom and seldom ever let on to bad news. When those rare good news moments come up these days, my first inclination is to give her a call.
2 people like this.

Reply 11 - Posted by: Deborah Grannet 4/3/2022 5:29:32 PM (No. 1118439)
Geez, #9, did you get up on the wrong side of the bed today??! I lost my parents within six months of each other 23 years ago, and not a day goes by that I don't miss them... what's more, the older I get, the more in awe I am of their wisdom and their values in raising my three brothers and me. They weren't perfect, but they were pretty darn close.
4 people like this.

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