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Dave Barry’s Review of 2013,
the Year of the Zombies

Washington Post, by Dave Barry

Original Article

Posted By:mitzi, 12/28/2013 7:08:21 PM

It was the Year of the Zombies. Not in the sense of most of humanity dying from a horrible plague and then reanimating as mindless flesh-eating ghouls. No, it was much worse than that. Because as bad as a zombie apocalypse would be, at least it wouldn’t involve the resurrection of Anthony Weiner’s most private part. We thought that thing was out of our lives forever, but suddenly there it was again, all over the Internet, as Weiner came back from the political grave like the phoenix, the mythical bird that arose from the ashes to run for mayor of

Comments:
Dave Barry as only Dave Barry can be!

      


Post Reply  

Reply 1 - Posted by: thelmalou, 12/28/2013 7:30:17 PM     (No. 9671248)

Oh, goodie! :clappinghandsexcitedly:


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Reply 2 - Posted by: Sunhan65, 12/28/2013 8:50:06 PM     (No. 9671282)

Very funny! It harkens back to a time when humorists were even-handed in apportioning their fire at all political targets of opportunity. A much-needed laugh on a day when I needed some good cheer. Thanks for posting, OP!

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Reply 3 - Posted by: smoolie, 12/28/2013 10:04:06 PM     (No. 9671310)

Love Dave Berry, thought he had retired or joined the Witness Protection Program. Glad to read him again. And amusing summation of the year.

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Reply 4 - Posted by: smcchk, 12/28/2013 10:15:45 PM     (No. 9671320)

Hilarious! It made more sense than the year that we actually had.

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Reply 5 - Posted by: steph_gray, 12/28/2013 10:30:42 PM     (No. 9671324)

His parodic treatment of the government shutdown is so funny it left me gasping for breath. Whole thing is hilarious. But then he always is.

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Reply 6 - Posted by: reddfroge, 12/28/2013 10:34:17 PM     (No. 9671328)

New York voters...you are about to get THE biggest ´anal intrusion´ you have every seen...you voted for it and now you can live with it.

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Reply 7 - Posted by: Timber Queen, 12/28/2013 10:35:56 PM     (No. 9671331)

Dave Barry delivers the best year-end recap of 2013 you will read this week.

He does mention two things, each in a different month, that I´m beginning to wonder if they are not connected. Dave tosses off a reference to how quickly people buy new iphones, constantly updating their gadgets. Then the second reference is to the NSA mega-data collection on U.S. citizens.

I´ve been wondering for a long time about the commercials for companies that buy old cell phones for up to $100, and how do they make money. Now I´m wondering if they are NSA fronts. How many of the sheeple would cleanse their phones before "selling" them?

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Reply 8 - Posted by: Tianne, 12/29/2013 2:42:05 AM     (No. 9671392)

Mr. Dave Barry´s review is a delight to read and the illustrations by Dale Stephanos are extraordinary! Thank you, OP.

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Reply 9 - Posted by: sinic, 12/29/2013 6:24:27 AM     (No. 9671436)

Thanks to OP and especially Dave Barry ... you´ve made my day for sure!! I´d bet most of us would be content just sitting around on Sundays enjoying Dave and Mark Steyn ... they both have that "Way" with words.

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Reply 10 - Posted by: JLoophole, 12/29/2013 6:32:38 AM     (No. 9671439)

Dave Barry, American treasure. The escalating Lance Armstrong/Tour de France references had me laughing out loud. And I wish we COULD deliver a package to North Koreas presidential palace by howitzer drone. =). Thanks for posting.

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Reply 11 - Posted by: MirJoy, 12/29/2013 6:48:39 AM     (No. 9671451)

So very funny. I am going to save this to read again because you can miss some of the humor the first time around. In fact, I´ll probably read it more than two times.

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Reply 12 - Posted by: Poobah, 12/29/2013 7:38:41 AM     (No. 9671464)

There was a time when I laughed heartily at Dave Barry´s writings. But, in those days, I thought that our nation was indestructible, that our problems were small relative to our strengths, and that the most we had to lose from our mistakes what a small diminution of our overwhelming strength and abundant affluence.

I now believe that we are a nation tottering on the brink of disaster, and I don´t laugh as much.

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Reply 13 - Posted by: Rinktum, 12/29/2013 8:13:31 AM     (No. 9671493)

Thoroughly entertaining and bitingly accurate. Definitely will have to reread later and save this one. Humor cuts deeper than a two edged sword when wielded correctly. Well done.

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Reply 14 - Posted by: Udanja99, 12/29/2013 9:31:27 AM     (No. 9671571)

LOL funny!

My all time favorite from Barry, writing about unintelligible rock and roll lyrics...

Help Me Rhonda, by the Beach Boys -

"Since she put me down, there´s been owls puking in my bed..."

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Reply 15 - Posted by: M2, 12/29/2013 11:25:53 AM     (No. 9671712)

I love him.

In other alarming foreign developments, Iran announces that it is constructing a new uranium enrichment plant, which according to a government spokesman will be used for “youth sports.”

...which about sums up how much we can trust anything Iran says. Or for that matter, anything Obama agrees that Iran says.

For their part, Republican leaders vow to harp on these scandals until everybody hates them even more.

Yes, it would help if the GOP coalesced into a judicial persecution of these matters, but alas...

In Rome, Pope Schwartz introduces the Vatican’s first-ever Mah-Jongg Night. Elsewhere abroad, U.N. observers express concern when Syria receives a large shipment of crates from North Korea marked “AQUARIUM SUPPLIES. OR FRUIT. DEFINITELY NOT CHEMICAL WEAPONS.”

Vintage Dave Barry.

U.S. Attorney General Eric Holder, signaling a major change in the federal government’s policy regarding the War on Drugs, tells a meeting of the American Bar Association that he has a family of tiny, invisible harmonica-playing giraffes living inside his nose.

Only Dave Barry could imagine such a scenario.

Gawd, I love this man. This article is SO much fun!

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Reply 16 - Posted by: Hazymac, 12/29/2013 11:54:29 AM     (No. 9671738)

Bravo, Dave, on your best year end wrap up, evah. In the words of the Delta House´s Flounder, "Oh, boy, is this great!"

Best thing I´ve read all year.

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Reply 17 - Posted by: LC Chihuahua, 12/29/2013 11:58:20 AM     (No. 9671744)

Hilarious. Perhaps the best defense against our government is to laugh at it and ridicule it.

Channeling my inner zombie..."Brains must have brains." Ewww, not those brains. Carlos, go away. Real zombies have standards.

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Reply 18 - Posted by: peterfleming, 12/29/2013 2:12:45 PM     (No. 9671856)

Dave Barry´s attempts at humor are greatly appreciated.
At least he´s on the right track and unwittingly reminds us that all the so called comedians now on television are failing in their work! Socialist David Letterman, once an extremely witty and observing person, is so subservient to the federal government and his new god, that he is no longer able to be funny. Letterman´s audiences clap in an obligatory manner for his jokes when they´re unable to laugh at them. By not making fun of his god Barry, he protects him the same way Diane Sawyer and Steve Pelley do, by not reporting to us his latest, lying crime.
Dave, Jimmy, Arsenio and Jay could read this calendar of 2013, and realize all the subjects they were afraid to touch, and realize all the jokes they could have done better than Dave Barry, if they had any guts Who´s better than Dave Barry? Better funnier, more guts than all of them? Right this minute, go to YouTube and listen to the brilliance of dear, old. JACKIE MASON rant on about Obozo ! He´s best !

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Reply 19 - Posted by: Lalo, 12/29/2013 3:03:16 PM     (No. 9671908)

Dave Barry´s "attempts" at humor? He could hardly be more successful at his "attempts." He is a certified scream. Not only that - he is that rare figure who bridges the gap between left and right - libs will read him and have to swallow his gibes whereas they wouldn´t touch a standard conservative´s stuff. Most of my friends are libs, if anything, and I´m leaving this posted at the top of my Facebook page for a few days to let it soak into as many "left" brains as possible.

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Reply 20 - Posted by: MirJoy, 12/29/2013 5:49:43 PM     (No. 9672054)

It really surprises me that there are not that many posts after this article - there is so much truth in all the humor which is why it is so funny, of course. I hope then that a lot of people read it without posting any comments.

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Reply 21 - Posted by: michellewsc2, 12/29/2013 6:07:11 PM     (No. 9672069)

I haven´t read/seen anything from Dave Barry since he was with Miami Herald. He was always one of my fav´s

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Reply 22 - Posted by: steph_gray, 12/29/2013 6:14:25 PM     (No. 9672074)

I also posted this on FaceBook. Not one of my moonbat friends who usually click Like for everything non-political I post touched it. I think I hit a nerve!

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Reply 23 - Posted by: Hermoine, 12/29/2013 6:16:02 PM     (No. 9672078)

So much truth in humor, and with that said, there´s a whole helluva lot of humor and truth in this piece! Makes me miss the writings of P.J. O´Rourke as he is also a scream!

One of the bits that jumped out at me:

Weather scientists at both the Weather Channel and Colorado State University, using sophisticated computer models, predict that the 2013 hurricane season will be unusually active. These scientists are immediately recruited to work on the much-anticipated rollout of Obamacare.

So much truth in this...they just moved over to healthcare.gov to be failures.

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Reply 24 - Posted by: lana720, 12/29/2013 10:02:03 PM     (No. 9672243)

Barry reminds us to laugh and make fun lest we dissolve into a heap mass of wailing.

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