You knew it was coming. Scientific American — which often pushes cultural agendas as much as scientific ideas — has an article informing us that polyamorous people have so much to teach the rest of us about life. From “The New Sexual Revolution: Polyamory May Be Good For You“ One thing that seems to unite the polyamorous community is a real enthusiasm for digging into emotions. Honesty, openness and communication are cornerstones for polyamorous relationships, Holmes has found. “They’re talking a lot, they’re negotiating a lot, they’re bringing their feelings to the table a lot,” he said.
He´s right - I recently saw another article about this called : ´´For polyamorous families, three hearts are better than two´´. The article worked overtime to dispel all those nasty ´myths´ and how there´s no reason to limit your love to just one person.
#7, I will use the same argument for Poly-marriages as I do for gay marriages. Right now, a woman can co-habitate and have two men in a relationship, she can have kids, everything that polygamists want. Except for official state recognition of a marriage.
THAT is what I object to. Go an do whatever you want, but that doesn´t mean it needs to be officially recognized. Why not? Because with that comes the indoctrination of school children that all these lifestyles are normal, and if you don´t think so, you are a bigot. This further undermines any kind of family unit; we know full well the damages to kids due to, first, single parent homes, the lack of a female/male presence in gay households (I have seen this first hand with gay friends, so don´t tell me it´s not true) and the fracturing of the family unit we see right now, along with sky high divorce rates.
Do what you wish in your own bedrooms. I wont call it normal, I will not tolerate being called a bigot because I refuse to, and if you were a stand up person, you would agree.
Least we forget that before the Catholic Church got involved with marriages, men with multiple wives was the norm worldwide. Now marriage between one man and one woman is the norm in the "Christian" world.
Of the arrangement works between consenting adults, not in your house, what is it too you? And before ya´ll get on the "sanctity of marriage" bandwagon, don´t bother. The "sanctity of marriage" argument went by the wayside with the adoption of no-fault-divorce. Multiple marriages is now the norm in this country......so why not just get your first second and third marriages all out on the table at once. Who knows.....this may reduce the divorce rate among the G-d fearing masses..../s/
Putting the question of religion aside, the real question is whether human nature tends to optimize societies in a particular mode of cohabitation and bonding (let´s not even distinguish whether such arrangements are formally recognized as "marriage"). I would submit that there is pretty strong evidence over the history of humankind that monogamous societies tend to be more stable and dominant as cultures.
Yes, there are plenty of examples of polyamory (Muslims, Mormons, hippie communes, co-Ed dorms and houses with benefits, etc.). But which of these have sustained themselves over time, with co-equal parties freely allowed and able to remain or go, and particularly after the arrival of children? Where are the thriving cultures and nations built on such a societal model?
Scientific American should apply scientific principles to its hypothetical musings.
The optimum path for you to prove this to all us reactionary codgers is to post your E-mail addresses and websites. I´m sure all the youth of America will be happy to share all the love you can take. Then, after a 6 month trial period, you can report how the philosophy is working out for you and your loved ones.
Notice every one of the pro polys assume it´s one dude and all the women he can roundup. Now how will such such a party time fare when little susie says not tonight honey i am booked up with another john. oh yeah and how will John --john and moe know which kids are his when he has to pay child support. One man one wife one love for life memories are made supreme.
Monogomy is not natural. Look how hard it is to remain faithful in a long term marriage. Look how many people fail at it, despite knowing the likely consequences if caught and the risks of VD, unwanted pregnancies, etc. Yet more than half stray anyway. Monogamy was imposed as a way to stabilize the family, which creates a stable society. The man brought home the bacon and the woman nurtured the children and maintained the home. It worked well for thousands of years. Now, the family is not stable. The woman often has to work to pay the bills, the children are raised by strangers and the man (term used loosely) is often gone. As for the marriages that ARE stable, many I have seen are sexless, loveless, and joyless. They are together only because of what the neighbors or the relatives might think, or the fear of the devil you dont know. If someone has a better idea, I´m willing to at least listen. Obviously what we have now is bringing neither stability or happiness for a great many people.
Monogamy works best if both parties have mutual respect and love for one another. It also helps if both parties are friends as well as lovers. At least that´s what has helped my husband and me stayed married for more than 25 years.
#23...I, too, have been married a long time; 32 years. Respect is the key to the whole thing. It is the food that nurtures love. I dont mean forced respect like one has for a cop or an NCO, but rather the earned respect we have for someone who is admired for their accomplishments and sacrifices. Love itself comes in two varieties. There is the passionate love of a new relationship and the comfortable love of a more mature, stable one. The former is very intense and addictive. The latter is safe, warm and comfortable. It can also be predictable and dull as well. It is no less love, but it is a different love. It is possible to love more than one person at the same time. Can we love more than one child at the same time? Certainly we can. Why not more than one adult? It is society´s rules that stop us, nothing more. So, these poly types think they have found a new (old) way to experience the passionate love while still maintaining the comfortable. I´m curious to see if it works. I might have to rustle up another hubby for Mrs C.
Been married over 20 years, extremely happy. Why? Because my wife insists we never go to bed angry, and I insist on giving 100% to the relationship, as does she. And it´s not about phony baloney "counseling" and "working on the relationship" like you are doing some sort of hobbycraft. As others have noted, it´s about real respect, taking care, putting yourself second, and sharing everything with your best friend. See, if both do that, then nothing can break the bond that develops.
Myself, my sister, my parents, my best friend, and my cousins all have marriages that work and survive the long haul. Saying monogamy is "unnatural" is BS. Finding others attractive outside of marriage is normal, that is how we are wired, but it needn´t go any further than that. I can admire an attractive woman in a bikini, and my wife loves the Phantom of the Opera. And neither of us minds that.
Monogamy works, that is why PAIR BONDING has been the typical IN MOST COUNTRIES THROUGHOUT HISTORY. Those that suggest otherwise have their own issues, don´t generalize about everyone else.
I note that most of the men think they will have multiple partners. They forget that if one man has 3 wives there is a good chance that that two other men will be without mates. That´s why the Utah polygamists (Jeffs?) kicked the extra young males out of the commune. Thinned the competition. And of course a lot of those young females with children were on Welfare.
And of course multiple partners means multiple ways to screw up a relationship.
Sorry #21, but monogamy is NOT unnatural at all. First of all, many animals mate for life. But a monogamous relationship in the human race is extremely normal. It takes work & commitment from both parties to keep it interesting & exciting, but it´s not necessarily hard. It´s natural too considering how long it takes to rear human children. It´s been proven for thousands of years that children thrive best when they grow up in a two parent household that´s stable & filled with love. Any other arrangement tends to bring problems. Our society not only lost its connection with God but also its understanding of positive human relationships & communication. People today are more self-centered & conditioned by media to seek instant gratification. This is why marriages don´t last anymore. Society´s been perverted by leftist, secular humanists. Yes, a few small groups have successfully lived in polyamorous relationships, but they were mainly small backwards natives living off the land with no outside contact.
polyamorous. new word for let´s have an open relationship. free love. which generally meant that the guy wanted to sleep around, but didn´t want the woman to sleep around also. while it is true that the some of the old testament patriarchs like David and Solomon had multiple wives, slaves, mistresses, it is very doubtful that the concept of honesty, openess, and communication entered into those relationships, as women were property of their fathers and husbands. having love for multiple children at the same time is certainly not the same as sharing love with multiple partners at the same time.
The Church did not initiate monogamy. Pre Christian Rome practiced monogamy, and serial monogamy. The Church simply carried on the cultural expectation as it expanded throughout the Roman Empire and beyond. Of course, there would have been a tendency for the not yet Christian but Romanized peoples to have adopted monogamy along with other Roman ways.
I tend to make light of the language police when it comes to the Saturday Night Card Game, but it’s actually a very serious subject. The incessant attempt to turn race-neutral phrases into racial testing grounds is part of a larger political war in which race agitators seek to turn everything into a discussion of race all the time in every sphere of life. Here are some prior examples we have considered: Black List, Baa Baa Black Sheep, Rejigger, Providence Plantations, Black Friday, Gobbledygook, Illegal Immigrant, Undocumented Immigrant, Master Bedroom, and even the use of white copy paper.
It appears that the police now have a device that can read license plates and check if a car is unregistered, uninsured or stolen. We already know that the National Security Agency can dip into your Facebook page and Google searches. And it seems that almost every store we go into these days wants your home phone number and ZIP code as part of any transaction. So when Edward Snowden -- now cooling his heels in Russia -- revealed the extent to which the NSA is spying on Americans, collecting data
One thing that has become clear as the Edward Snowden saga unfolds is that WikiLeaks and Russia have both been integral to the NSA leaker´s arrival and extended stay in Moscow. The Kremlin and the renegade publisher haven´t overtly coordinated moves in regards to Snowden, but they certainly haven´t been working against each other. And the two had a shared history before Snowden arrived in Moscow. Here are a few notable details from a tentative timeline of Edward Snowden and his associates created by former senior U.S. intelligence analyst Joshua Foust:
The government’s ability to track 316 million Americans without a warrant rests on a flimsy premise upheld Tuesday by the 5th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals. The judges, intentionally or not, move us into the shadow of the total surveillance society. Throughout history, totalitarian regimes dreamed of tracking at will the exact whereabouts of enemies of the state. This power is now reality; police officers and bureaucrats can tap into the GPS-style location technology built into every cellphone, with no warrant required. Judges and lawyers say it’s OK to dispense with the inconvenience of warrants if a third party,
There’s a sucker born every minute. That’s the first thought that comes to mind about John Henry’s purchase of The Boston Globe and other assorted media dinosaurs for $70 million in cash. In other words, as someone noted yesterday, John Henry’s 164-foot yacht may well be worth more than his crumbling newspaper empire. Another old saying seems equally appropriate for the occasion: A fool and his money are soon parted. Do the math. The New York Times spent a combined ?$1.4 billion to buy the Globe and the Worcester Telegram, and now Pinch Sulzberger walks away with a nickel
Ten days ago, as John McCormack noted, in the midst of a speech about the economy President Obama mentioned some other issues: "Of course, we’ll keep pressing on other key priorities, like reducing gun violence, rebalancing our fight against al Qaeda, combating climate change, and standing up for civil rights and women’s rights." McCormack asked, "what does ´rebalancing our fight against al Qaeda´ mean? It´s a phrase Obama hasn´t used before." The administration hasn´t answered McCormack´s question. In light of al Qaeda´s resurgence in Iraq, our withdrawal from Afghanistan, our fecklessness with respect to Syria, Libya, and elsewhere--and now the travel alert
Earlier this week I wrote about California’s new regionalist initiative, Plan Bay Area, as a harbinger of President Obama’s attempt to densify America’s cities and undercut the political and economic independence of the suburbs. If that was the beginning of Obama’s second-term assault on the suburbs, the next step is about to be taken in Minnesota. Katherine Kersten writes about “Thrive MSP 2040,” a soon-to-be-released plan that may take regionalism to unheard of levels. At a minimum, when it comes to densification, we’re likely to see the thrust of Plan Bay Area replicated in the Twin Cities.
As the most infamous gangster in the history of Boston stood to address the court, you could have heard the sound of a faucet dripping in Mongolia. Other than a few choice expletives dropped here and there throughout the course of his long federal racketeering trial, mobster James “Whitey” Bulger had yet to be heard from. Now, with the defense about to rest its case and the jury out of the courtroom, Judge Denise Casper asked the defendant if his decision not to take the stand and testify in his defense was being made “voluntarily.”
“House Republicans Set to Defy Obama Are Mostly White Men,” Bloomberg.com “reports:” The core group of Republicans who are pushing the House toward a showdown with the White House over the debt ceiling and government spending is made up of 41 members — all white men except for two. More than half are from Southern states, their average re-election vote was 65 percent and most have served for fewer than five years in the House. As opposed to the man in the White House whose reelection vote was 51.1 percent, and who served in the Senate for about two years years
On the surface, the July jobs report — the unemployment rate dipped to 7.4% last month thanks to a shrinking workforce as the economy added a disappointing 162,000 net new payrolls — is just another dismal data point in America’s “new normal” recovery. But it’s also an important milestone and metric for judging the Keynesian fiscal experiment known as Obamanomics. In January 2009, Team Obama economists put together a report – half quantitative analysis, half sales pitch — outlining the potential economic impact of the proposed $800 billion stimulus. (See above chart from that report.) If Congress passed the plan,
Anthony Weiner tells NBC 4 New York he is "100 percent not" having any type of online relationships with anyone now, and says for the first time he has not kept any records of his past lewd affairs. "I don´t have any of the records," Weiner said in an interview Friday. "I deleted everything." A woman came forward last month with explicit photos of Weiner and messages from him, revealing that the married mayoral candidate´s affairs had continued long after he resigned from Congress in 2011. Since then, the embattled Democrat has sought to turn the conversation
A woman walks into her local library and hands the librarian a book. He takes it gingerly, seeing that the book is old. He wonders if the woman who is returning it has been careless with the volume. Not so, it turns out. The book was actually taken out from that same library by the woman´s grandfather, then stored in an attic, which she had recently cleaned out. The book — which is about gardening, or Napoleon, or maybe both — has remained intact, sandwiched between dusty yearbooks and issues of Life magazine.
Citing a potential al Qaeda attack, the State Department on Friday issued a worldwide travel alert and warned American citizens that the terrorist group may be plotting a strike in the Middle East, North Africa or elsewhere. “Current information suggests that al Qaeda and affiliated organizations continue to plan terrorist attacks both in the region and beyond, and that they may focus efforts to conduct attacks in the period between now and the end of August,” reads a portion of the alert, which lasts until the end of the month.
Executive Director of Mayors Against Illegal Guns Mark Glaze gave some ambiguous and potentially dangerous self defense advice Friday on “Hardball.” Glaze, speaking in opposition to “Stand Your Ground” laws, said in a circumstance where someone “comes at you” with an axe handle one should attempt to either “talk,” “fight with your fists,” “run away,” or “deescalate the situation,” but not shoot the attacker: MARK GLAZE: Very often somebody will come at you. They might want to have a fistfight. They might come at you with an ax handle. CHRIS MATTHEWS: Would you consider the guy with the ax handle armed or not?
American scientists claim the planet is undergoing one of the largest changes in climate in the past 65 million years. Climatologists at Stanford Woods Institute for the Environment have warned the likely rate of change over the next century will be at least 10 times quicker than any climate shift since the dinosaurs became extinct. If the trend continues at its current rapid pace, it will place significant stress on terrestrial ecosystems around the world, and many species will need to make behavioral, evolutionary or geographic adaptations to survive, they said.
[Video] Rapper Jay Z appearing on HBO´s "Real Time" with Bill Maher says that the black community wants upward economic mobility rather than a stronger police presence. In a conversation with former Congressman Barney Frank about police tactics such as stop-and-frisk, Jay Z suggests the stagnant economy and wealth inequality could cause widespread social unrest: "The real problem is there´s no middle class, right? So the gap between the have and have-nots is getting wider and wider... It´s gonna be a problem that no amount of police can solve, because once you have that sort of oppression
About 400 area retail and fast-food workers, together with colleagues nationally, participated in a strike Thursday to demand raising the minimum wage to $15 an hour. “If not $15, then something. I mean give us something. I work 36 hours a week and barely make enough to pay my rent, gas bill, light bill. It gets to the point where I barely have enough for lunch sometimes,” said Angel Richardson, 21, who works at McDonald’s. “I’m five months pregnant, what am I going to do in four months? I hope something changes.” The minimum wage is $7.25 nationally and $8.25
Government workers in the city of Seattle have been advised that the terms "citizen" and "brown bag" are potentially offensive and may no longer be used in official documents and discussions. KOMO-TV reports that the city´s Office of Civil Rights instructed city workers in a recent internal memo to avoid using the words because some may find them offensive. "Luckily, we´ve got options," Elliott Bronstein of the Office for Civil Rights wrote in the memo obtained by the station. "For ´citizens,´ how about ´residents?´"
You don´t have to be gay or even Russian to feel the wrath of the Russian government´s homophobia. You could go to jail if you are "pro-gay," whatever that means. And that´s under just one of a growing number of hate-infused bills becoming law at a time when, as it happens, Russia is preparing to host the world in the next Winter Olympics. The perverse anti-gay legislation is inflaming an atmosphere of persistent intimidation and at times deadly violence against Russian gays and lesbians. The question now is: What should the rest of the world do?
Rep. Charlie Rangel (D-NY) suggested on Friday morning that the tea party movement is comprised of the same types of people who fought against the civil rights movement during the 1960s. Speaking with the Daily Beast, Rangel said of the movement: “It is the same group we faced in the South with those white crackers and the dogs and the police. They didn’t care about how they looked. He added that the tea party movement can be defeated similar to how the civil rights movement eradicated Jim Crow mentality: “It was just fierce indifference to human life that caused
The nation´s most active death penalty state is running out of its execution drug. The Texas Department of Criminal Justice said Thursday that its remaining supply of phenobarbital expires in September and that no alternatives have been found. It wasn´t immediately clear whether two executions scheduled for next month would be delayed. The state has already executed 11 death-row inmates this year, and at least seven more have execution dates in coming months. "We will be unable to use our current supply of phenobarbital after it expires," agency spokesman Jason Clark said. "We are exploring all options at this time."
I think she’s one of the most fascinating women of our time and this world,” confessed Bob Greenblatt, the chairman of NBC, as part of his announcement that his network is making a miniseries about former secretary of state Hillary Clinton, with Diane Lane in the starring role. Words are funny things. For instance, G.K. Chesterton once remarked that that the word “good” has many uses: “For example, if a man were to shoot his grandmother at a range of 500 yards, I should call him a good shot but not necessarily a good man.” So it is,
A dart game that used President Obama´s face for target practice at a county fair in New York state is being dismantled today. Fairgoer Abigail Czapsky submitted photos of the booth at Otsego County Fair to HuffPost yesterday, which show President Obama´s face lined up alongside yellow stars in a dart game. According to Czapsky´s Facebook page, following yesterday´s HuffPost story the booth has now taken down the offensive targets. Czapsky says the Otsego County Fair Board called her to apologize about the booth and explain that it was being taken down. Not one individual on the fair board
After purchasing the Boston Globe in 1993 for a then-record $1.1 billion, the financially troubled New York Times just announced it sold the 141 year-old paper to Boston Red Sox owner John Henry for a mere $70 million. That´s a straight 93% loss. Figuring in two decades of inflation would only make it worse -- as does the fact the Times retains the Globe´s pension liabilities, estimated at over $100 million. (snip) What might have sweetened the lower offer for the Times is that Henry offered a straight cash deal, which is expected to close sometime in September or October.