Short Cuts

Monday, February 24, 2003

Monday Morning Red Meat: No need start the week worrying over war when our attention can be so easily distracted by what Hillary has been up to. We know this is like throwing fistfuls of raw hamburger into the piranha tank but at least it will get your engine started. Watch the language, okay?

Heavy Assignment: Howie Kurtz tells us that while military officials will not permit Hustler magazine to be distributed to our forces in Afghanistan they will let a Hustler reporter (now there's an oxymoron for 'ya) accompany them in combat. Somehow we don't think that's what the troops had in mind.

Upmarket Grammy: Despite the last minute hype that would have had major music stars staging an antiwar rally at the Grammys, things went quite smoothly last night. Rumor of unrest either from CBS directly or someone there feeding Drudge, seemed unfounded. Cool, jazzy top winner Norah Jones dressed in a Junior League cocktail-party black dress set the tone. Jones is the love-child of Indian music master Ravi Shankar, 82, and former music promoter-turned nurse Sue Jones who split up before she was born. When she stood on stage to accept the first of her gold gramophone statuettes Sunday night, she thanked her mother but did not mention Shankar. We don't know what this means but we like biographical tidbits like this.

Today's French Jokes: Question: What is the difference between a road accident involving a hedgehog and a Frenchman? Answer: There are skidmarks before the hedgehog. Question: What do you call a Frenchman advancing on Baghdad? Answer: A salesman. These two thigh-slappers and more made it on to the BBC causing "bit of bother."

Nutballs Last Moments: There is something rather sweetly pathetic about the loonies who have made the lunatic 'nachschelp' to Baghdad (that's another wonderful Yiddish word meaning "a meaningless journey") to meet their almost certain demise as 'human shields." It was reported over the weekend that Iraqi officials handed them a list of buildings most likely to be bombed so they would have a place to sleep. No report as to whether the Iraqis were smiling at the time.

Rock Reasoning: Kid Rock came up with a somewhat different slant when asked how he felt about the music industry's antiwar nonsense: "We got to kill that mother-[bleeper] Saddam," he says. "Slit his throat. Kill him and the guy in North Korea." Are some women and children going to die? "Yeah. But is doing the right thing. You got money, you sit around talking about peace. People who don't have money need some help." Hummm. No table at Spago for the Kid.

- Your Monday Motivated LComStaff