Thursday, February 13, 2003

Now He Tells Us: When CNN's Judy Woodruff asked BJ Clinton about Richard Gere's comment that "Hillary's husband" hadn't done anything about AIDs, Clinton went into a Code Purple snit and said, "I don't blame Richard Gere, because he is an actor. He doesn't know." We suppose having left the White House has enabled Clinton to reflect a bit on the general intelligence of those Hollywood types. He couldn't have thought this when he was taking all their know-nothing money.

Thanks for Nothing: That whooshing sound you heard must have been the collective sighs of relief from the Turks as Chirac promised to "protect" them in case of war. One wonders - with what? This is as good a place as any to repeat an old Brit joke: Why are there trees on major French boulevards? So the Germans could march in the shade.

Kicking Can Instead of Butt: Not for nothing does this site constantly recommend the work of Dr. Charles Krauthammer. While you scrounge around for more duct tape and check out how to hermetically seal the smallest room in the house, ponder this paragraph from this column: "We are now paying the wages of the 1990s, our holiday from history. During that decade, every major challenge to America was deferred. The chief aim of the Clinton administration was to make sure that nothing terrible happened on its watch. Accordingly, every can was kicked down the road." No one has said it more clearly.

Noted With Amusement: Among the things we need to cheer us during these tense times is a newspaper with a sense of humor. The New York Post, who gave us that wonderful headline "Axis of Weasels" has dispatched columnist Steve Dunleavy to Paris to file on the perfidious frogs. Steve, who is infamous for his inability to resist the press of the grape, is visiting bars and cafes with a stuffed weasel under his arm. They won't get it but who cares?

Soufflé Sally On Staying Safe: Some editor at the WaPo seems to have remembered that after 9/11, Washington hostess Sally Quinn, who has spent thirty years trying to be taken seriously, had written a piece telling everyone to buy a gas mask. They have given her another assignment on the subject of survival. Here she gives detailed advice to Tom Ridge and the Color Code Cadets over at Homeland Security. She wants us to carry gas masks at all times. You first, sister-girl, then we will order ours in plaid.

-Your Duct Tape Deficient LComStaff