Thursday, January 23, 2003

You Want Fries With That? Beyond his slitty-eyed, belligerent, and utterly mindless defense of Saddam Hussein, there was always something more about Scott Ritter that creeped us out. Now we know what it was. We use the past tense because it's highly unlikely he will be filling our screens again. Originally outed by the feisty little Albany Daily Gazette, for making Internet dates with kids to watch him pleasure himself in a MacDonald's parking lot, he shows up again on Aaron Brown's unwatchable NewsNight last night like some giant moth to the flame of fame. Then, even when told that CNN lawyers say he can talk about the charges, he refuses. It's being suggested in intelligence circles that Saddam's secret police have a drawer full of tapes and photos collected when he was "in country." That would explain a lot. Time to crank up the dozing "It's just about sex" crowd. Lanny? Paul? James? Anyone home?

The Dems Uncheckable Bag: Like a 200 pound alligator valise that turns out to be alive when you lift it, Al Sharpton is proving to be something the dems aren't going to be able to set down. Only one day out on his "Show Me Some Respeck" presidential campaign, he's already causing pain. Although New York's First Nanny Mike Bloomberg says he's a Republican, those who are sorry they voted for him know better. When he dissed CORE's Roy Ennis to attend Sharpton's dem soaked MLK bash, the soft spoken Ennis called Bloomberg "a whupped freak." The NYDaily News' Rush and Malloy have the details.

Learning To Spell "Chutzpah": While we are on Sharpton - he's such good copy - Deborah Orin at the New York Post says the man who brought us Tawana Brawley is already playing the vice presidential card. Both former Vermont Gov. Howard Dean and Sen. John Kerry of Massachusetts claim Sharpton has offered them a place on the ticket. One can only wonder at their response. The public one and then the private one.

France Flips Frock Over Head: French officials have gone beserkers over Rummy's remarks in the face of their perfidy. When Rummy pointed to the support we receive from newer NATO nations and called France the "old Europe" he extracted this less than withering response from Finance Minister Francis Mer, "I am profoundly vexed." Pshaw!

But, Did She Floss? The Houston trial of a lady dentist who found her husband at a hotel with a receptionist, threw him 25 feet into the air with the bumper of her Mercedes, then backed over him twice just to make sure she squished his cheating part, should help take our mind of war, frauds and frogs. His whole family is in court to support her and there are nine women on the jury. Wanna bet she walks?

-Your Watchful LComStaff

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