Friday, January 17, 2003

From Tick, Tick to Drip, Drip: The whole Iraq inspector farce and Hans Blix b.s. is wearing on the nervous system. We've got an administration that speaks in black and white and a UN that speaks in mauve, polka dot and unmatched chunks of plaid while the rest of us feel like Marlene Dietrich draped across a chaise moaning, "I'm Tired." After yesterday's undeclared weapons find most editorialists see the situation in fairly clear terms. None clearer than Andrew Sullivan - which is usually the case.

Stand By Your Truck...and tell the world you love it. Those of us who love our muscle cars, feel safer in them and we do not intend to give them up just because air-headed left coast liberals call us terrorists for drinking more than our share of gas, seem to have found a champion in the New York Post's Richard Johnson. For a second time this week, he takes a shot at Hollywood's two-faced guzzling of jet fuel. Arianna Huffington, the dabbling diva who started all this, insists she doesn't own a jet and only rides her rich friends' jump seats. Well, we all knew that.

Heaton Gets Hot: The lede item in that same Page Six column deserves our attention. Patricia Heaton walked out of the American Music Awards in disgust at the skuzzy behavior of the show's hosts, the First Family of Sleaze, the Osbournes. Heaton left organizers scrambling to find a clip to replace her part in the show. All things considered, hers was a gutsy move. For this, she deserves an award show of her own. Right on, sister.

Campaign Camera: With the presidential campaign months away, it's fun to scan the horizon for personalities that will make good copy in the future. Our lens is trained on John Kerry's interesting newish-wife, Pickle Heiress Teresa Heinz Kerry who keeps, according to the WaPo, large portraits of both husbands on prominent display in their many homes. Here's a Boston Herald interview in which she says she's switching to the democrat party - nice idea if your husband is a democrat candidate. Her quotes are mild here but we see a gold mine of not so mild ones down the road. Before Election Day, she may need 57 ways to say, "I'm sorry."

On The Move: This weekend Lucianne.com will be moving to a bigger, better, kinder, gentler, stronger and more secure server in the hopes of preventing the site failure of this last week. This means we may go dark for a couple of hours over the weekend. Please don't write. We will be well aware of the situation. We thank all of you for your patience during the crash. We were up and running in no time thanks to the brilliance of our head Web Monkey, Jason, but it was the painstaking job of reregistering thousands of Ldotters that took time, effort and the selfless heart of a saint. For this, we thank the indomitable Amy Sheehan. May she sleep a thousand hours as her reward.

-Your Equally Indomitable LComStaff