According to Peter Schmidt in the Chronicle of Higher Education, yet another individual working in higher education has been demolished for saying the wrong thing about homosexuality. The basis on which to define people as "anti-gay" has, however, taken a turn to the absurd (and eerie). Unlike Angela McCaskill, who was nearly fired from Gallaudet University for signing a petition on gay marriage, Crystal Dixon of the University of Toledo was fired for writing an editorial in a local newspaper. She referred to Exodus and mentioned people who chose to leave the gay lifestyle.
It´s about time we start seriously discussing how sexual identity and orientation is often inter related with sexual abuse, ESPECIALLY in teenagers and young adults.
It makes me FURIOUS when we are so willing to allow a teenager to declare themselves gay or even bisexual so that we don´t have to seriously look at and consider the reasons he or she has come to that conclusion, ESPECIALLY when those same teenagers can barely wrap their brain around their life´s ambition at the same age. We´re supposed to just accept that that know what they are really doing when they "come out of the closet?" Seriously??
And I have never understood why "smarter" gays would be content with constantly being insulted over their sex life not being their choice. I can understand the low information sheeple-like ones, but the smart ones? And how much abuse do they suffer when their gay peers insist en mass that their primal urges are what makes them gay? How can any thinking person stand to be put in such a small box?
I look forward to reading more of Lopez´s work. He is most definitely a breath of fresh air.
And furthermore in the last week and a half of those people giving lip service to mental health issues, how about part of the being a seriously hard look at how much mental stress someone is under when they are questioning their own orientation and the reasons for it.
It would not surprise me in the slightest if Adam Lanza did not struggle with this very issue, and I am afraid that we will not have the courage to address it before other mass murderers make their presence known.
There are two women in my extended family who, when in college, were each in long term relationships with men. One had a child, out of wedlock, with her guy. Each of those relationships ended badly and now both women are lesbians. Can anyone honestly tell me that they, in their anger at men, didn´t choose to be ´gay´?
If it is a choice, then you would have zero problem with your daughter marrying a formerly gay but now totally-straight-by-choice conservative, christian man, right? If it is a choice, then why do so many hide their preference in fear of losing their loved ones and friends? Why don´t they just choose to be straight, marry a person of the opposite gender, have kids and keep everyone, including themselves, happy?
The hillbuz guys did a good series on their coming out stories several years back. For those open to the idea that it is not a choice, it is a great read and is probably still archived on the site somewhere.
WRONG! While there are people who are confused because of abuse or some other environmental issue, there are MANY gay people who were NEVER abused nor had any issues that would have caused them to be who they are. People who come from stable, loving families with no problems, but who knew from a very early age (like 7) that they were different and were "attracted" to the same sex. Now, before anyone gets into whether or not children know anything about sex...this is about attraction--NOT sexual relations. Why would a young child think about giving a ring to someone of the same sex? It´s attraction & love. And it occurs in almost EVERY species of living creatures to a small degree. And it is NOT necessarily an issue of dominance either. Evidence is very strong that in many cases, there is NO choice. For those that do "choose" to be different, they have issues that require therapy. Too often people will take evidence of one example and apply it to all. That is wrong. BTW, who chose to be straight?
Reply 11 - Posted by:
Attila DiMedici, 12/24/2012 11:20:06 AM (No. 9081968)
Those of you who are saying that the author is wrong either did not read what he wrote, which is that whether or not to have sex and what kind of sex to have is a choice that each person makes (whether or not what sex one is attracted to is a choice). Either that or you believe that those who practice gay sex are less able to control their own actions than those who have sex with a member of the opposite sex. I am a happily married man, nothing forces me to have sex with my wife. I choose to have sex with my wife. Are you saying that gays have to have sex with whatever sexual partner of the same sex that they end up with? That they have no ability to control their sexual urges?
I, like most men, am attracted to slender fit women. I just can´t help it.
Therefore, I demand that a wife becoming fat ought to be grounds for a divorce and that, because she violated my civil rights in regard to my sexuality, she is obligated to pay for my efforts to replace her including the hiring of disease free prostitute in the interim.
Ask some simple questions to psycho-liberals who believe in gender confusion and evolution:
Is man capable of evolving into homosexuality? How could he be, since success would bring about the extinction of the human race?
Scripture says homosexuality is a sin of depravity, so egregious that in God´s Law to Israel, they were to be put to death for such un-natural acts, right up there with bestiality. God´s opinion hasn´t changed since the dawn of time, but it´s man who chooses not to follow God´s mandates, thereby suffering societal deterioration and collapse, as a result.
There´s nothing in this world more miserable than an old "queen" or "butch" who no longer have the hormones, or looks, to attract new converts to their religion of degenerate sex.
#6 why aren´t we all saints then? You are giving a free pass for a a CHOSEN lifestyle! Why do drug addicts not quit the habit instead of living in a crackhouse, starving and living on the streets? Why do married couples cheat and tear up a relationship and damage children? Why do criminals re-offend after getting out of prison and get sent back? The answer is simple: free will! We ALL chose to sin and chose what kind of sin we commit. Nobody is forcing homosexuals to act upon their urges are they? That´s a CHOICE they make. No, it can´t be easy to go down the path of righteousness but we all have crosses to bear.
Sorry #6 and #9 but it is a choice, one that is overwhelmingly attached to childhood abuse. As far as having a daughter marry a "former gay"... Lets just use the same criteria as the Red Cross for blood transfusions- a lifetime ban for any man who has ever had sex with a man.
And this is why the GOP loses elections, and will continue to do so. If you think you could become sexually attracted to another man through willpower, then perhaps you have a point. Then again, maybe you are bisexual.
Being gay may not be a choice for all, but it clearly is for some. Anne Heche, for example, had a highly publicized relationship with Ellen but chose to leave the lifestyle and become hetero. Madonna, Angelina Jolie and Drew Barrymore have all been involved in same-sex relationships but switched back to hetero. All of them chose to be gay and later chose to be straight. There are bisexual men, too, who decide to marry and have children. I won´t mention any names. All people, gay and straight, chose to become or not to become involved in sexual relationships--there is no doubt that that is a choice.
If it is a choice, then why such anguish for many before they decide they are gay? If it is a choice, then why can you tell with some young boys, 7-9 years old, that they will probably be gay and are already suffering social isolation because,of it. We all know that God, in his wisdom, makes many to be similar and always some to be different. These are the different ones and I can´t think that they are,being sinful.
The ignorance on this tread is truly remarkable, the author sounds bisexual not gay, and there is a difference. I would agree that to engage in a particular sex act is a choice orientation isn´t. How many responding to this tread have gone their whole life without sex, I´d bet very few. To take this one step further, try imagining that gay sex was the norm and you where pressured to have gay sex, any heterosexual would find the idea disgusting, and could not maintain it over a long period of time. Can I take it that these of you who say it´s a choice choose to be heterosexual over gay. I never had to make that choice, I didn´t find my male friends hot, once I hit adolescence I knew I liked girls, it was very evident, it was not a struggle.
The author here, Mr. Lopez, I speaking, for the most part about sex as an act, not sexual desire as an appetite. He´s saying you have a choice about where you go, who you hang out with, and what you do.
That much should be obvious. If somebody he has no choice about his sexual behavior-- his actions --- such a person should not be out in public without a guardian.
On the other hand, as for desire or appetite: God knows our control over that is often frail, intermittent, and imperfect. We should help each other be peaceable and pure in our desires: that´s one of the big projects of maturity -- for everyone.
To all fellow strugglers: a Merry Christmas and the very best of blessings.
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