|
|
| |
Topic: The Lord’s Long Johns |
The Lord’s Long Johns
Canada Free Press, by Jimmy Reed
|
|
Original Article
|
|
Posted By:LittleHoodedMonk, 12/10/2012 6:34:27 PM
|
| Jones, Smith, Brown, Green, and Reed were tillers of the soil. They died about the same time and appeared at the Pearly Gates. Saint Peter told them to be seated and that the Lord would call them one at a time to review their earthly accounts. Soon, a mighty voice thundered, “Pete, bring in Jones.” Squaring his shoulders, standing straight and tall, Jones stepped before his Maker. The Lord asked His Certified Sin Accountant to review Jones’ worldly affairs. ??“Jones was an excellent soybean farmer,” said the CSA. “My records show that he cared for his family, attended church, never drank, and worked
|
Comments:
A simple and fun read. :)
|
 
Reply 1 - Posted by:
Keekng, 12/10/2012 7:18:37 PM (No. 9058550)
A fun story but perhaps the dumbest post I have ever seen on Lucianne.
|
Reply 2 - Posted by:
secondtimelucky, 12/10/2012 7:22:26 PM (No. 9058555)
I guess I must be having a very dim evening. I can´t get the point. Is there a point?
|
| |
|
Reply 3 - Posted by:
Phil_hk, 12/10/2012 7:28:09 PM (No. 9058564)
I kind of agree with the second poster. I can´t see the point. This looks like a dirty joke without the punch line.
Besides, everyone knows the best long johns are made of merino wool
|
Reply 4 - Posted by:
Watlines, 12/10/2012 7:33:43 PM (No. 9058568)
Waste of time...I don´t get it and neither does anyone else apparently.
|
Reply 5 - Posted by:
angelesgift, 12/10/2012 7:45:20 PM (No. 9058575)
Thank you, guys. I was wondering, too, what the heck is the point of this silly story. Besides, I hope Heaven is like a warm California beach with no liberals and no trash.
|
Reply 6 - Posted by:
jerseygal, 12/10/2012 7:48:17 PM (No. 9058578)
I thought I must be awfully tired. Glad to find out it wasn´t just me.
|
Reply 7 - Posted by:
ladydawgfan, 12/10/2012 8:21:33 PM (No. 9058608)
Silly story with all the comedic kick of a 90 year old Rockette!!!
|
| |
|
Reply 8 - Posted by:
tmcavl1, 12/10/2012 9:11:21 PM (No. 9058649)
Am I ever glad to see this story posted here. I read it on CFP last evening and thought I must be getting pretty dimwitted. Like the other posters here, I just didn´t get it.
Perhaps this story is a real knee-slapper to Mr. Reed´s circle of friends. Or, maybe Jimmy ran out of column space and omitted the punch line.
In any case, I count reading this ´story´ as wasted minutes I´ll never get back. I hope it´s a one-of-a-kind for CFP.
|
Reply 9 - Posted by:
novakid, 12/10/2012 9:36:29 PM (No. 9058669)
I´m glad it wasn´t only me.
|
Reply 10 - Posted by:
zeldafitzg, 12/10/2012 9:55:56 PM (No. 9058691)
I loved it, and thought it quite funny.
I guess a farm background helps me appreciate the humor.
|
Reply 11 - Posted by:
ColonialAmerican1623, 12/10/2012 10:13:06 PM (No. 9058699)
I just want to know if Reed grew that cotton in the US.
|
Reply 12 - Posted by:
Pete Stone, 12/10/2012 10:50:46 PM (No. 9058741)
This is an exceedingly dumb story.
|
| |
|
Reply 13 - Posted by:
mackrand, 12/11/2012 12:52:38 AM (No. 9058834)
Well, I bit. I somehow thought that being born and raised in West Virginia I would have a bit of a leg up in the humor department. So I read it.
Yep, it´s dumb. I don´t get the point either.
|
Reply 14 - Posted by:
noddy, 12/11/2012 2:02:28 AM (No. 9058849)
I thought maybe Reed would say he had 100 slaves from Africa to work the fields, and that he fed and housed them. Not even that.
|
Reply 15 - Posted by:
Bla Bla, 12/11/2012 2:25:55 AM (No. 9058858)
Maybe they forgot to mention this was a teaser????? The story completely skips Brown standing before the Lord; I assume Reed is the author & he doesn´t mention himself either.
I really have never enjoyed these judgment-type scenarios, anyway, as our good deeds can´t be good enough to be in God´s presence. Only the innocent sacrifice of the Lamb of God can make that possible. But long johns???? On an energy Being who dwells where it isn´t cold?? Uhg.
|
Reply 16 - Posted by:
motorcycleboy, 12/11/2012 2:38:20 AM (No. 9058862)
Horrible, way below Canada Free Press standards.
|
Below, you will find ...
Most Recent Articles posted by "LittleHoodedMonk"
and
Most Active Articles (last 48 hours)
|
Most Recent Articles posted by "LittleHoodedMonk"
|
Florida girl, 18, arrested and
expelled after relationship with
15-year-old female classmate
|
|
New York Daily News, by Erik Ortiz
Original Article
|
|
Posted By: LittleHoodedMonk- 5/21/2013 5:44:52 PM
Post Reply
|
|
An 18-year-old Florida student’s senior year has become a nightmare — all because she was in a same-sex relationship with a 15-year-old, her family says. Kaitlyn Hunt was arrested Feb. 16 for having a physical relationship with a younger classmate, who was her girlfriend at the time, mom Kelley Hunt Smith wrote on Facebook. Under Florida law, Hunt could see up to 15 years in prison and must register as a sex offender. A plea deal, however, remains on the table that would give Hunt two years´ house arrest and one year of probation, her family said. “Does my daughter deserve to lose her life for
|
Clear or nuclear:
Will Saudi Arabia get the bomb?
|
|
Al Arabiya [UAE], by Dr. Naser al-Tamimi
Original Article
|
|
Posted By: LittleHoodedMonk- 5/21/2013 5:27:52 PM
Post Reply
|
|
As the impasse over Tehran’s nuclear program worsens, those most likely to be directly affected by an Iranian bomb are showing greater alarm. While the media fixates on Israel and its possible reaction, other regional players have no less at stake. Despite Riyadh’s long-held advocacy of making the Middle East a zone free of weapons of mass destruction, there has been much speculation in the past few years about the possibility of its acquiring, or developing, nuclear weapons should Tehran obtain the bomb. In the words of Saudi King Abdullah: “If Iran developed nuclear weapons (...) everyone in the
|
Report: Iran hangs two spies
working for Israel and U.S.
|
|
Reuters, by Staff
Original Article
|
|
Posted By: LittleHoodedMonk- 5/21/2013 5:15:17 PM
Post Reply
|
Dubai - Iranian authorities executed two men on Sunday convicted of working for Israeli and U.S. spy agencies, Iran’s Fars news agency reported. Mohammad Heidari, accused of passing security-related in formation and secrets to Israeli Mossad agents in exchange for money, and Kourosh Ahmadi, accused of gathering information for the U.S. Central Intelligence Agency, were hanged at dawn, it said. The sentence for their execution was handed down by Tehran’s Revolutionary Court and confirmed by the country’s Supreme Court. The report did not say when the pair were arrested nor when their trial took place.
|
Vatican denies Pope Francis
performed ´exorcism´
|
|
BBC News, by Staff
Original Article
|
|
Posted By: LittleHoodedMonk- 5/21/2013 5:04:09 PM
Post Reply
|
|
The Vatican has denied claims that Pope Francis performed an exorcism, after TV images showed a man apparently reacting to him putting his hands on his head. The encounter - during Sunday Mass - was shown on a TV channel owned by the Italian bishops´ conference. The station quoted exorcists as saying there was "no doubt" the Pope had either performed an exorcism or a prayer to free the man from the devil. Its director later apologised for "having altered the truth". The Pope´s spokesman said he "did not intend to perform any exorcism".
|
Guatemalan Court Overturns
Genocide Conviction of Ex-Dictator
|
|
New York Times, by Elisabeth Malkin
Original Article
|
|
Posted By: LittleHoodedMonk- 5/21/2013 3:01:10 AM
Post Reply
|
|
Mexico City - Guatemala’s highest court on Monday threw out the genocide conviction and prison sentence of the former dictator Gen. Efraín Ríos Montt. The decision by Guatemala’s Constitutional Court was a dramatic legal victory for General Ríos Montt, 86, and a blow to human rights advocates who had called his conviction a sign that Guatemala’s courts would no longer allow impunity for the country’s powerful. General Ríos Montt was sent to prison immediately after the verdict on May 10 when a three-panel tribunal found him guilty of genocide and crimes against humanity.
|
| |
|
IG Report Confirms: DOJ Official
Smeared Fast and Furious
Whistleblower John Dodson
|
|
Townhall, by Katie Pavlich
Original Article
|
|
Posted By: LittleHoodedMonk- 5/21/2013 2:49:40 AM
Post Reply
|
|
Monday the Department of Justice Inspector General [IG] confirmed what Townhall and other media outlets have been reporting for more than a year now: DOJ officials smeared Fast and Furious whistleblower and ATF Agent John Dodson. As a reminder, Dodson was the first whistleblower to expose Operation Fast and Furious. He revealed the operation´s connection to the murder of Border Patrol Agent Brian Terry on to CBS News reporter Sharyl Attkisson on March 3, 2011. The IG report confirms that former U.S. Attorney Dennis Burke, who has a long personal and professional relationship with
|
Live Wire: M.E.´s Office
confirms 91 dead in Moore tornado
|
|
KOCO-TV [Oklahoma City, OK], by Staff
Original Article
|
|
Posted By: LittleHoodedMonk- 5/21/2013 2:15:19 AM
Post Reply
|
|
Oklahoma City - State medical examiner´s office: 91 killed in Oklahoma tornado; death toll expected to rise. Spokeswoman Amy Elliott tells KOCO 5 that 51 of the deaths have been confirmed but that her office was awaiting the arrival of 40 more fatalities. Authorities say an elementary school in an Oklahoma City suburb took a direct hit from a mile-wide tornado. Gary Knight with the Oklahoma City Police Department says there is no word of injuries from the elementary school. Knight says the school suffered "extensive damage" on Monday afternoon. He did not say which school was hit.
|
Most Active Articles (last 48 hours)
|
White House Chief of Staff knew about
damaging IRS audit, kept Obama in the dark
|
|
New York Post, by S.A. MILLER
Original Article
|
|
Posted By: FlyRight- 5/20/2013 4:15:03 PM
Post Reply
|
|
WASHINGTON – The Internal Revenue Serviced scandal today spread further within the White House and closer to President Obama. White House spokesman Jay Carney today disclosed that Obama’s chief of staff, Dennis McDonough, and other top White House officials had advance warning that the IRS was targeting conservative groups. But he insisted McDonough and the other White House officials purposely kept Obama out of the loop.McDonough “rightly chose not to take action” to inform Obama, Carney told reporters at the daily White House briefing.
|
BREAKING: WashPost Reports
Obama DOJ Also Spied on
James Rosen of Fox News
|
|
Newsbusters, by Tim Graham
Original Article
|
|
Posted By: drive- 5/20/2013 7:29:20 AM
Post Reply
|
|
The Washington Post on Monday reported that Obama’s Department of Justice was investigating journalists before they started wiretapping the Associated Press – for one, Fox News correspondent James Rosen in 2010. Their headline wasn´t "Obama Team Also Spied on Fox News." Fox wasn´t in the headline, on A-1 or on A-12, where the story continued. Newly obtained court documents “reveal how deeply investigators explored the private communications of a working journalist — and raise the question of how often journalists have been investigated as closely as Rosen was in 2010.” Reporter Ann Marimow began:
|
Leaks turn to deluge
for reeling White House
|
|
New York Post, by John Podhoretz
Original Article
|
|
Posted By: StormCnter- 5/21/2013 4:49:13 AM
Post Reply
|
|
The wheels came off the Obama administration yesterday. We learned of a startling assault on freedom of the press by the Department of Justice, following the revelation last week of the unprecedented information-gathering foray by that department against The Associated Press. Then, a few minutes later, the Justice Department’s inspector general released a report declaring that the US attorney in Arizona used the leak of a confidential memo to try to discredit a whistleblower in the notorious “gun-walking” scandal known as Fast and Furious (which got two federal agents killed). The leak was called “egregious.”
|
Top IRS official will
invoke Fifth Amendment
|
|
Los Angeles Times, by Richard Simon and Joseph Tanfani
Original Article
|
|
Posted By: Scottyboy- 5/21/2013 3:53:35 PM
Post Reply
|
|
WASHINGTON – A top IRS official in the division that reviews nonprofit groups will invoke the Fifth Amendment and refuse to answer questions before a House committee investigating the agency’s improper screening of conservative nonprofit groups. Lois Lerner, the head of the exempt organizations division of the IRS, won’t answer questions about what she knew about the improper screening – or why she didn’t reveal it to Congress, according to a letter from her defense lawyer, William W. Taylor 3rd. Lerner was scheduled to appear before the House Oversight committee Wednesday.
|
White House Aide calls
Criticism of Obama ´Offensive´
|
|
New York Times, by Brian Knowlton
Original Article
|
|
Posted By: FlyRight- 5/20/2013 7:01:33 AM
Post Reply
|
|
A senior adviser to President Obama mounted a combative defense of the administration on Sunday, saying the controversies enveloping the White House were the result of Republican lawmakers’ trying to “drag Washington into a swamp of partisan fishing expeditions, trumped-up hearings and false allegations.”The remarks came from Dan Pfeiffer, a member of the president’s inner circle, as he appeared on all five major Sunday morning talk shows in an effort to move the administration past what commentators have described as a “hell week” of controversy and missteps.
|
If Your Doctor Asks You About
Guns, Do You Have to Answer?
|
|
Fox News, by Staff
Original Article
|
|
Posted By: KarenJ1- 5/20/2013 1:12:07 PM
Post Reply
|
|
Stuart Varney said this morning on "Varney & Co." that one of his producers was given a questionnaire with some surprisingly intrusive questions on it when he switched doctors. One of the questions was whether he/she was concerned about unsecured weapons in the home. Another asked whether he/she was "in a relationship in which you have been physically hurt or are you afraid of your partner?" Judge Andrew Napolitano explained that the question about guns comes out of a post-Sandy Hook executive order by President Obama, but it will be required under Obamacare. Varney expressed amazement
|
Democratic Senator uses Okla.
tornado for anti-GOP rant
over global warming
|
|
Daily Caller, by Jeff Poor
Original Article
|
|
Posted By: bamapreacher- 5/20/2013 8:20:54 PM
Post Reply
|
|
While many Americans were tuned into news coverage of the massive damage from tornadoes ravaging the state of Oklahoma, Rhode Island Democratic Sen. Sheldon Whitehouse took to the Senate floor to rail against his Republican colleagues for denying the theory of anthropogenic global warming. Whitehouse spent 15 minutes chastising GOP senators and justified his remarks by alluding to states that seek federal assistance in the wake of natural disasters. “So, you may have a question for me,” Whitehouse said. “Why do you care? Why do you, Sheldon Whitehouse, Democrat of Rhode Island, care
|
| | |
|
|
